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“Don't leave anything out”As dad left the house, I grabbed my coffee, then went to the staircase door from the kitchen. I rapped on the door and hollared at Dustin to let me in. He opens it up and looks up at me, still buck naked, with tears in his eyes. Walking down the stairs, I explained to Dustin that everything was ok, but he was too young for me to explain everything in a way he could understand. “Let's just say that Mark and Maurice are not our friends anymore. They did some bad stuff last night, so I told them to leave. And dad doesn't love us anymore, so we don't love him either. I know that's confusing, but I'll explain it to you again when you get a little older. Now---I really bad need to whack off, and take a shower, so get up to your room and find something to do”. Dustin looked up at me and responded “what's whacking off Matthew ?” I looked down at my lil bro and tossled his hair, smiling at him. “Something big b o y s do when their dicks get big---I explain that when. He smashed the third bottle “You are the reason I don’t have a job”. When he took the fourth bottle, he realized that the bottle was still SEALED and filled with beer. He said to the bottle “YOU STAND ASIDE, I KNOW YOU WERE NOT INVOLVED”.An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of cannibals. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself “Oh God, I’m fucked”. Suddenly there is a ray of light from the sky above and a voice booms out “No, you are not fucked. Pick up that stone at your feet and bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you”. So the explorer picks up the stone and proceeds to bash the life out of the chief. He stands above the lifeless body, breathing heavily and surrounded by 100 cannibals with a look of shock on their faces. The voice booms out again: “Now you’re fucked!”Paddy goes into a pharmacy - reaches into his pocket and takes out a small Irish whiskey bottle and a teaspoon. He pours from the.
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